Parallel Problems
by unknown20troper
Summary: Sequel to Godparent. Anti-Cosmo escapes Abractraz and comes up with a plan to rule the world and cause bad luck, as well as to convince Norm to switch species with his Anti-Fairy. Slight Timmy/Tootie, AU. COMPLETE
1. Prison Break

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Fairly OddParents._

**Author's Note: **Constructive criticism welcomed, particularly on characterization. This is the sequel to _Godparent_, so if you haven't read it, you won't understand what's going on.

Also, Anti-Fairies are opposites of individual fairies: for example, Anti-Cosmo is the opposite of Cosmo (Anti-Cosmo is a genius, Cosmo is an idiot etc. .) I presume most people in the fandom already know this, but I do have a few non-fandom people reading my fanfic, and they might not understand the concept of Anti-Fairies.

**Pairing(s): **Timmy/Tootie

* * *

_**Parallel Problems**_

**Chapter 1: Prison Break**

Many varieties of bad luck plagued the Earth. Everything from black cats to spilled saltshakers caused it. Theme parks were destroyed, important monuments wrecked, and dogs and cats lived together. For all the Anti-Fairies but Anti-Cosmo, every day was Friday thirteenth. However, that was about to change!

* * *

Anti-Cosmo picked up his bazooka that the Pixies had unkindly gave him, and carefully fired it at the bars of the cage. He could afford to be slow, since he would be the ruler of a very unlucky universe as soon as his evil plan succeeded and would have a lot of time to do everything he wanted to do. He took off his anti-magic prison outfit and flew above the prison triumphantly.

* * *

Tootie wondered why she didn't have a bazooka. She wanted to escape too, and return to Timmy. Even if she knew that Timmy didn't need her, that didn't mean she wouldn't still want him.

* * *

On Earth, an Anti-Fairy/Genie appeared with a pop.

"My name is Anti-Norm the Anti-Fairy/Genie, what is yours?" asked the Anti-Fairy nicely, "How can I help you?"

"By causing bad luck!" replied another Anti-Fairy in fury.

Anti-Norm didn't expect that. He expected the Anti-Fairy to respond politely and give him a nice job that he'd excel at and do for no pay.

"Bad luck is bad," said Anti-Norm, "why can't we cause good luck instead?"

"That's point!" shouted the irritated Anti-Fairy, "good luck is for leprechauns and squares, though leprechauns do deal in both types of luck. Why do I have to deal with your idiocy?"

Anti-Norm didn't understand, but he had manners.

"I'm sorry," replied Anti-Norm, "I didn't mean to offend you."

Anti-Fortune was dumbfounded. An Anti-Fairy with both manners and morals? That was wrong. The Anti-Fairy needed a correction.

"Anti-Fairy Lesson 2: Anti-Fairies aren't sorry and we mean to offend people," said Anti-Fortune, "whose your Fairy anyway? A cruel, mordant, cynical, impolite jerk of a criminal mastermindwith a low attention span and low patience. Now he would make a good Anti-Fairy, unlike you!"

Anti-Norm's response was to start crying. Anti-Fortune smiled. If Anti-Norm cried in response to insults, imagine what Norm would do! His guesses ranged from leveling a city block to replying with an awesome mordant remark. Anyway, he was sure they'd be more Anti-Fairy-like than crying!

ANTI-POOF!

Anti-Cosmo appeared.

"Your Majesty, we have just got a new Anti-Fairy," said Anti-Fortune, "Anti-Norm."

Anti-Cosmo was shocked. He thought he was the last Anti-Fairy ever born.

"Unfortunately, Anti-Norm is not Anti-Fairy-like. He wants to spread _good luck_," said Anti-Fortune, "he's an idiot too and is way too polite!"

"That is a problem," replied Anti-Cosmo, "However, I think it can be fixed. His Fairy would probably make a brilliant Anti-Fairy and wouldn't be too hard to convince."

Anti-Fortune smiled. Anti-Cosmo had thought exactly what he did.

"I have a plan," said Anti-Cosmo, "Everyone but Anti-Norm, report to me now to hear it."

Anti-Fortune smiled and let out an evil laugh. Anti-Cosmo agreed with him, though he didn't know it. He guessed that meant he was a genius too. Great minds did think alike, after all.

* * *

**Author's Note: '**Fortune' actually is a name and I think that an Anti-Fairy named 'Anti-Fortune' would make lots of sense, considering what Anti-Fairies do.


	2. Mobile Home Intolerance

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Fairly OddParents._

**Author's Note: **Constructive criticism welcomed, particularly on characterization.

* * *

**Chapter 2: Mobile Home Intolerance**

"Why can't you wish your dad was the best baseball player ever again?" asked Norm in frustration, "your mobile home is inducing my gag reflex, do you want me to hurl? I think I'm about to."

"I can't wish that my dad was the best baseball player ever again because last time it caused us to lose our home, and him to be thrown in jail," replied Chester, "and I like disgusting stuff. Gross is cool!"

"No, gross is gross," replied Norm, "wish it clean or… can godparents send their godkids to their rooms or punish them in any other way? Well if we can, I'll do that."

"Is not!" shouted Chester, "and I don't think you're capable of doing so. Aren't godparents for granting wishes to miserable kids? I like it when my home is like this! It's awesome!"

"Yeah, nope," replied Norm, "I guess I'll just use my magic to clean it – 'cause who cares what you think? I don't – uh, nope I didn't mean that. I do care what you think. A lot."

Norm groaned. Chester was his godkid and Norm did think he was a great kid, but Norm just couldn't tolerate his home and that made him snappish whenever he was required to be in it, causing him occasionally to go back to his old ways, and then remember that Jorgen could be listening and might punish him for it, as well as his shame for what he had done to Turner, and how much he liked Chester. He didn't want Chester to hate him like Turner used to.

In addition, when their friendship began, there was lots of dramatic stuff going down and now Norm was just another godparent out of many, and Chester was just another godkid, so Norm didn't have much to distract himself from the smell of Chester's home. Chester didn't make many wishes, so Norm didn't spend too much time with him now.

Norm POOFed the mobile home clean anyway. Even if Chester would be angry later, now it was clean, Norm could at least tolerate Chester's mobile home.

* * *

Anti-Fortune watched with glee. Norm did seem to be bored and exasperated with his life as a fairy godparent, and he had several traits praised in Anti-Fairies. However, Anti-Fortune pondered the possibility that Norm was just in a bad mood. Maybe, he wasn't actually like this usually. Norm needed to be tested more.

Anti-Fortune got out his Anti-Fairyberry and called Anti-Cosmo, telling him that Norm seemed like a promising Anti-Fairy, though he could just be in a bad mood, and might need to be tested more.

"If he needs more testing, do so," said Anti-Cosmo, "I want to make sure that convincing him to turn Anti will be beneficial to us in the long run."

* * *

Anti-Norm did remind Anti-Cosmo of his own fairy, Cosmo, who was known for causing unlucky things to happen by the virtue of his stupidity. What if Anti-Norm was similar and replacing him with Norm would harm their schemes more than help them?


	3. Tests

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Fairly Oddparents. Wizzy is a character from the **Oh Yeah! **Shorts and my OC, Anti-Wizzy is his Anti-Fairy._

**Author's Note: **Concrit is welcomed, particularly on characterization.

* * *

**Chapter 3: Tests**

Anti-Cosmo set Anti-Wizzy the task of observing Anti-Norm, to check if he'd be prone to make unlucky things happen by accident. Anti-Wizzy decided that he would be a better observer if he got into Anti-Norm's good graces first.

"Hi, Anti-Norm," said Anti-Wizzy, trying to talk like his amazingly happy counterpart, "what do you want to do?"

"Hi, what is your name?" asked Anti-Norm.

"Anti-Wizzy."

"I want to cause good luck, but the other Anti-Fairies say I can't," replied Anti-Norm, "If everyone here doesn't want it…"

Anti-Norm began crying.

"Could you stop that infernal waling?" asked Anti-Wizzy, "You're hurting my ears."

Anti-Norm did so. He didn't want to hurt anyone's ears, Anti-Fairy or not.

Anti-Wizzy ANTI-POOFed up some rubber balls and threw them at Anti-Norm's head, hoping for anger, loss of patience and an unlucky magical accident.

Anti-Norm's response was to just not notice.

Anti-Wizzy didn't expect that. Surely, Anti-Norm would care at least a bit, wouldn't he? He waited a few moments. Nope. Anti-Norm didn't care, and had probably forgotten what had happened already. Anti-Wizzy sighed. Anti-Norm was useless as an Anti-Fairy.

"You are useless!" jeered Anti-Wizzy, "You do not want to cause bad luck, you wail and you can't produce a decent magical accident!"

Anti-Norm began to wail. Again.

Anti-Wizzy smiled sinisterly. He had a feeling that convincing Anti-Norm to switch species with Norm, and become a fairy would be a piece of cake.

* * *

Anti-Fortune continued watching Norm and Chester, waiting till Norm seemed to be in a better mood to test him.

Norm and Chester were watching a baseball game and they both looked happy.

Chester had realized that his bond with Norm was crumbling, and decided to ask Norm if he could go on one of Norm's mini-vacations with him. Norm's reply to Chester's request was, "yeah, sure, you can!"

Now was the time for Anti-Fortune to test Norm. But how?

ANTI-POOF!

A sexy genie dame appeared.

"Hey, Norm," said the dame, "Do you wanna go to the adults only theme park, and do an adult's only thing?"

"Well, yeah," replied Norm, "But if you haven't noticed, I'm watching baseball with Chester right now, and your sexiness is _blocking my view of the game_! Yeah, I want it, but for the love of Pete, not now! Ask me later, and then I'll say "yes'! Now? Nope!"

ANTI-POOF!

Anti-Fortune made the female genie disappear. Norm obviously had common sense and wouldn't abandon his godkid while he was having fun with him. Norm would be a great Anti-Fairy, he was sure, and he had just picked the wrong method to test him.

ANTI-POOF!

Chester became invisible.

Norm wondered what had happened to Chester, though he still wanted to continue watching the game. He knew that if he ignored the problem in order to watch the baseball game, Jorgen wouldn't think he was a good godparent, and he cared about Chester, so Norm decided to look for him, calling his name.

"I'm here! Right beside you!"

That was Chester's voice. Norm was sure that Chester couldn't possibly be beside him, could he? Norm remembered that magic did exist (he was a genie after all), so maybe a magical creature turned Chester invisible.

ANTI-POOF!

Chester became visible again and Norm felt relieved that he hadn't lost him.

* * *

Anti-Fortune and Anti-Wizzy reported to Anti-Cosmo. Anti-Cosmo heard their reports and decided that Norm would probably be worth more as an Anti-Fairy than Anti-Norm was, even if he cared for Chester. Anti-Cosmo was positive that Norm could be made to dislike Chester and godparenting if they played their cards right, and if they pushed Anti-Norm far enough, he might decide to become a fairy.

Then, Anti-Cosmo could begin his plan for bad luck to reign supreme!


	4. AntiFairy Caused Escapes

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Fairly OddParents._

**Author's Note: **Concrit appreciated, particularly on characterization. Tootie lies quite a bit in this chapter (because of previous events in this chapter) so, if Tootie says something blatantly or subtly false, it the next paragraph or sentence will probably explain it as such.

* * *

**Chapter 4: Anti-Fairy Caused Escapes**

Anti-Irving ANTI-POOFed into Abracatraz and approached the nearest Pixie's cell.

"We will set you free if you vow that you'll do one task for us," said Anti-Irving sinisterly, "disguise yourself as Chester McBadbat and wish for stuff _you_ like. Boring, business stuff. Got it?"

"Yes," replied the Pixie, smiling in a way that was the Pixie equivalent of sinister, "we have our own grudge against Chester and Norm. Destroying their lives will be boring – in a what-most-people-call-fun way. I agree to the proposition."

Anti-Irving set the Pixie free, as the Pixie transformed himself into Chester McBadbat and PINGed himself to Earth.

* * *

Tootie overheard them from her cell, which was close to the Pixie's. She wondered why the weird blue-bat guy, which she heard was called an 'Anti-Fairy', wanted the businessmen guy, which she heard was called a 'Pixie', to disguise himself as Chester McBadbat, but she was sure that their motive was not a kind-hearted one.

Chester was one of Timmy's friends, so Tootie figured it would hurt Timmy deeply if the 'Pixie' and the 'Anti-Fairy' harmed him. She had to stop them, but how? She knew she was a fairy, so she had magic, right?

She tried to use her wand, but it farted instead. Gross. Why did it fart? What was wrong?

Tootie wondered if the suit she was forced into after getting captured by the muscled fairy was restricting her magic. Probably, since there was no good reason for fairies not to be capable of what she had attempted.

Tootie smiled. She had a plan.

* * *

"Hey, Anti-Fairy!" she called, "can you help me escape TOO? I was trapped in here for harming TIMMY AND CHESTER TOO!"

That was a blatant lie if you knew Tootie, but she presumed the Anti-Fairy didn't know her well. She was right.

"Alright," said the Anti-Fairy, setting her free, "You can go free. Just don't come up with your own second-rate plan and have it interfere with ours. It's the Anti-Fairies' plan, not the second-rate nerdy fairy girl's plan. How could fairies even have kids anyway?"

"Point taken," replied Tootie, glamouring herself to look like a Pixie, now that her anti-magic suit was removed, then lying, "I'm a Pixie in disguise. A very bad disguise though."

She POOFed herself to Earth, Chester's trailer park, and became invisible. She was glad to finally be free from Abracatraz and didn't want to lose her freedom anytime soon – or ever.

"I wish I had a stock market chart," said Chester in a monotone.

Tootie assumed that Chester was actually the Pixie in disguise. Chester would never want a stock market chart.

"Trackster Teeth, are you sick?" asked the what-Tootie-assumed-to-be-a-genie with the fairy crown, "Since when were you interested in stock market charts? Did Crockpot say you had to look at them for homework or something?"

The-Pixie-disguised-as-Chester glared at his crowned genie.

"Alright, alright," said the crowned genie, rolling his lilac eyes, which reminded Tootie of Vicky's, except his looked a bit more purple and darker, "it's just I thought you'd wish for something better."

POOF!

A stock market chart appeared and the-Pixie-disguised-as-Chester started gazing at it intently, which the real Chester would never do.

The crowned genie groaned and facewanded. He also seemed to know that the real Chester wasn't the type to stare intently at stock market charts.

"Hey, Chester!" called Norm, "do you want to play baseball with me?"

"No," replied Chester in a monotone, "that's fun. Pi-I don't like fun."

"Chester, you like fun," replied Norm, "You aren't a Pixie, you know!"

The-Pixie-disguised-as-Chester seemed to had almost said that he was a Pixie, and then had cut himself off as soon as he had realized that admitting to his identity would be detrimental to what he had came to do.

* * *

POOF!

Norm took himself and Chester to a baseball game, hoping Chester would be interested. However, Chester spent the entire time muttering, "too fun, not business-like," as though he was some kind of Pixie. Maybe, the Pixies had brainwashed him, he had upset him by magically cleaning his house, or Chester had woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Whatever the reason was, Norm considered godparenting Chester to be more of a chore than a joyful, fun experience that day.

If the Pixies hadn't disrupted everything, and he hadn't begun to care for Chester, he could have been in bed with the sexy dame right now.

Norm groaned and went to sleep, hoping Chester would be a better and more fun godkid, like usual, when he woke up.

Anti-Irving and Anti-Fortune reported the events to Anti-Cosmo. He smiled. The seeds of resentment seemed to have been successfully planted. Now, they just needed to be watered and he was sure the Pixie and his maybe-loyal-but-the-truth-was-he-wasn't-sure Anti-Fairies would do a brilliant job. The Pixie did have a grudge against Chester and Norm, and the Anti-Fairies did want bad luck to reign supreme, just like he did. So, far his plan was going perfectly!


	5. Switching

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Fairly OddParents._

**Author's Note: **Concrit appreciated, particularly on characterization.

* * *

**Chapter 5: Switching**

Chester wondered why the Pixie had trapped him in the prison. He thought he and Norm had defeated the Pixies in Fairy Court, and got them thrown in Abracatraz. Apparently, at least one was still free.

Chester glanced around his cell, trying to see if Norm was nearby. No, Norm wasn't trapped, as far as he could see. Then, where was he?

* * *

Anti-Norm wondered why all the other Anti-Fairies were so mean to him. He was nice to them, wasn't he? However, that didn't stop them from constantly bullying him and may have caused it. He couldn't go a day without crying.

* * *

Anti-Cosmo felt triumphant. Anti-Norm was sure to decide to become a fairy soon. He just needed to plant the idea in his head.

* * *

Anti-Wizzy got a message from Anti-Cosmo on his Anti-Fairyberry and he read it. He didn't understand what it meant, but was determined to carry out Anti-Cosmo's orders, even if they made no sense.

"Anti-Norm, you'd do much better as fairy, with all that being nice stuff," said Anti-Wizzy, "as an Anti-Fairy, doing that stuff is just stupid. Your Fairy would make a wonderful Anti-Fairy, but you… ugh!"

* * *

Anti-Norm's response was to start crying, but while crying, he considered Anti-Wizzy's opinion. Becoming a Fairy would be a perfect solution to his problem!

"How can I become a fairy?"

"By switching wands with yours," replied Anti-Wizzy, "it has to be yours or it won't work."

"Where's my fairy?"

"Dimmsdale, California," replied Anti-Wizzy, "in a trailer park."

Even though Anti-Norm didn't know much, he knew what a trailer park was and wondered why his Fairy was there.

Anyway, Anti-Norm was sure that if he became a fairy, the Anti-Fairies would stop being mean to him and he'd be able to help people.

* * *

Norm was sick of godparenting Chester. Sick of it! Why wasn't Chester fun anymore? Why would he prefer stock market charts, economy graphs, books on economy and gray clothes to all the fun stuff Norm wanted to do with him? He didn't even want to fix the world anymore, though Norm would prefer that to being forced to POOF up every, boring, business related thing known to man!

Also, the world seemed to have took Chester's personality 180 as an excuse to spam Norm with fliers, emails and other ads for places that sounded fun and jobs that would be better than his current one, causing Norm to feel even more annoyed with his job and godkid. What kind of freedom rip-off was this anyway?

He wasn't free, even if he no longer had to deal with his dumb lava lamp. If only he didn't care about Chester, then he could have fun. Norm then remembered his shame when he saw how mean he was to Turner on the Pixies' TV. No, he couldn't abandon Chester, even though he felt tempted beyond belief.

"Hey kid," said Norm as Chester intently studied a business chart, "don't you want to do anything fun with me, like we used to?"

"No," said Chester, "I didn't do anything fun with you."

Norm was shocked into silence. Had Chester lost his memories or been replaced?

* * *

Anti-Fortune observed the scene with malicious glee. Now was the time to tell Norm about the merits of being an Anti-Fairy, before he found out that Chester was actually a Pixie. However, he knew it would look suspicious if he told Norm about it at a seemly random time. He had to tempt Norm into going to Anti-Fairy World.

ANTI-POOF!

A different, mind-controlled sexy genie dame appeared. Finding genie dames to tempt Norm with wasn't hard, they just had to go on Ebay, garage sales or stores and buy millions of lamps and rub them until they found a beautiful genie dame and ANTI-POOF it to Norm.

* * *

"Hey, Norm," flirted the genie dame, "I have something I want to show you."

"Let me guess, another bed," said Norm, "Sorry, but I'm taking care of Chester, even if he's acting like a boring, pain in the butt!"

"Better than a bed," said the genie dame.

"A kinky bed?" asked Norm confused, "I got nothing – and no."

"No, it's not a bed," said the genie dame, "though I think you'd be good in one."

Norm felt confused. He would prefer bedding a dame or doing whatever she meant to do than godparenting Chester now, but he cared about Chester, and he didn't want to lose his job – and his freedom.

"No consent," said Norm firmly, "period. Leave now or I'll tell Jorgen that you are distracting me from my duties. I know how he hates genies and if you were watching my interview on Fairy Idol, you'd know too."

POOF!

"Here's your restraining order," said Norm, handing her the restraining order that had just came out of thin air, "I'm not losing my freedom or Chester just to engage in an one-night stand."

Her response was to tear up the restraining order.

"Note to self: Next time, buy one made of smoof instead POOFing one up yourself," said Norm dryly.

"I could get a babysitter for your kid," said the genie dame.

Norm wondered if he'd lose Chester if he got a babysitter, but decided that it would be okay as long as it was quick.

"Yep, you have my consent now," replied Norm, "get Chester a babysitter. I'm going to have some fun!"

ANTI-POOF!

Norm and the dame appeared in Anti-Fairy World.

"I know weird kinks exist," said Norm, "but do you seriously like to bed people in Anti-Fairy World?"

"Don't you remember when I told you that I wasn't trying to bed you?"

"Oh, right," said Norm in embarrassment, "what were you trying to do? Take me to the world of the bad luck freaks?"

"Don't attack the dignity of the Anti-Fairies," replied the genie dame, "they have a lot more fun than you do, with your kid," she snorted derisively, "Chester."

"Well, don't attack the dignity of my kid either," replied Norm, "Chester's a great kid, he just went through a weird personality switch. Maybe, it's just a bizarre version of puberty."

"No, he's not," replied the dame smoothly, "Chester's holding you back and you know it."

"If I wasn't Chester's godparent, I'd still be trapped in my lamp," replied Norm, "That's not called 'holding me back', isn't it?"

"You care about him so much that you are denying yourself fun," said the dame.

"I know that," said Norm, "you really don't need to remind me. I know."

"Than why won't you give him up?"

"Haven't I already answered that question?"

"Norm," said Anti-Fortune, "we Anti-Fairies have a offer for you. If you switch species with Anti-Norm and become an Anti-Fairy, you'll be free of all your godparenting duties and will never have to worry about being trapped in your lamp again?"

"Don't Anti-Fairies usually get defeated in the end and end up trapped in jails?" asked Norm, "sorry, but I don't feel like worrying about Abracatraz."

ANTI-POOF!

Anti-Norm appeared, and even though he was wearing stuff Norm would never ever wear (like a pro-Canada shirt), Norm recognized the similarity to himself. He noticed Anti-Norm was crying, and thought it looked odd on a dark blue version of himself, with an opposite fashion sense.

"Norm, can I please switch wands with you?" he asked with a sob, "those Anti-Fairies are so mean to me."

"The Anti-Fairies won't get imprisoned if you help us," said Anti-Fortune, "and Anti-Norm is just useless."

"Alright," said Norm, "I'll do it, but please don't ask me to harm Chester."

Norm and Anti-Norm switched wands.

Norm's fly-like fairy wings changed into bat-like Anti-Fairy wings. His teeth gained carnivorous points and his clothes, hair and skin turned dark blue. His ears became pointed, like elves' ears in human media and mythology were.

Meanwhile, the reverse transformation was happening to Anti-Norm.

When it finished, Anti-Norm POOFed back to Earth.

* * *

Anti-Cosmo grinned. Now that he had dealt with Anti-Norm, he could begin his real plan to control the universe!


	6. Sinister Smile

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Fairly OddParents._

**Author's Note: **Constructive criticism welcomed, particularly on characterization. I'm not sure what to call Norm, now that he's an Anti-Fairy. I don't want to call him Anti-Norm, since I spent 5 chapters calling his Anti-Fairy that. I've thought of 2 things I could call him by:

-Morn (like Foop in Anti-Poof)

-Norm the Anti-Fairy

Please tell me if you have a preference. For now, I'll call him "Norm the Anti-Fairy" or just "Norm."

* * *

**Chapter 6: Sinister Smile**

ANTI-POOF!

Several Anti-Fairies appeared in Jorgen's command center.

"What are you UNLUCKY freaks here for?" boomed Jorgen.

"We think we can help protect the universe from Pixies," lied Anti-Cosmo, "We are creatures of painful fun, after all, and Pixies abhor fun and like causing pain better then being subjected to it."

* * *

Norm the Anti-Fairy groaned. More saving the world from the Pixies. He thought he was finished with that. He wanted to have fun, dang it!

Anti-Cosmo and Jorgen continued talking and Norm tuned out. However, since he couldn't find many subjects in his mind that he hadn't traversed the entire country of and back while he was trapped in his lamp, Norm decided to tune back in.

"YOU WILL BECOME THE OFFICIAL PROTECTORS AGAINST PIXIES ONLY IF YOU PROVE YOUR ABILITIES!" boomed Jorgen, "CAPTURE UH… FIFTY PIXIES AND I'LL MAKE YOU OFFICIAL!"

* * *

Anti-Cosmo grinned sinisterly. His schemes covered that. Jorgen Von Strangle was so easy to manipulate. All fairies were, if you were the King of the Anti-Fairies. One would just need to study the behavior of the Anti-Fairy that was the fairy's parallel than reverse everything one learned about it and apply it to the fairy.

* * *

Norm knew that grin of Anti-Cosmo's. He had worn it himself when trying to get revenge on Turner, though Norm knew that he wasn't sinister in the least. At least not in the vampire horror movie way that most villains were.

Norm knew that the expression wasn't a save-the-world expression. It was an I'm-going-to-doom-the-world-or-just-this-one-particular-person expression. Norm felt sure Anti-Cosmo was up to no good.

ANTI-POOF!

The other Anti-Fairies disappeared, but Norm didn't. He didn't trust Anti-Cosmo. Not that being mistrustful of _anyone_ (even Santa Claus) was unusual for Norm, but he knew that with trust, better safe than sorry.

* * *

Jorgen gazed at the Anti-Fairy. The Anti-Fairy looked like Norm and seemed to act like Norm, but since the Anti-Fairy was supposed to be Norm's opposite, that was impossible.

* * *

ANTI-POOF!

Norm appeared in Anti-Fairy World. No Anti-Fairies. Weird. What were they doing? Howling at the moon? Drinking human blood? Searching for black cats?

* * *

The Anti-Fairies weren't doing any of those three activities.

Anti-Wizzy opened a Pixie's cage and when the Pixie made a move to escape, he put it in the Anti-Fairies' Pixie-magic blocking bag.

The Anti-Fairies weren't actually defending the universe against Pixies. They were letting the Pixies go and then collecting them in a Pixie-magic blocking bag until they hit fifty. When they did, they would bring the Pixies to Jorgen and…

All the Anti-Fairies knew Anti-Cosmo had a great plan. He always did, even if they got flung in prison a lot because the plans failed. Failure was Timmy Tiberius Turner's fault and he was out of action now.

After a night of this tedious process, the amount of Pixies in the bag hit fifty and they had enough Pixies to be appointed Official Defenders Against Pixies or whatever name Jorgen wanted to call them.

That was only an enabler of their main goal, not the actual goal. Anti-Cosmo's schemes were more complex than they looked at the beginning.


	7. But Maybe Something's Wrong

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Fairly OddParents._

**Author's Note: **Constructive criticism welcomed, particularly on characterization.

* * *

**Chapter 7: But Maybe Something's Wrong**

* * *

**  
**

Anti-Wizzy opened Chester's cage and when Chester came out, he ANTI-POOFed him back to his trailer park.

* * *

Chester looked around, feeling shocked. How had he got back home?

"I'm Anti-Norm the Fairy," said his godparent, who seemed to have acquired a new fashion sense overnight, "how can I help you?"

"Anti-Norm?" asked Chester, "what are you his enemy or something?"

"No, I'm his opposite," replied Anti-Norm, "and your wish is my command."

"His opposite?" asked Chester in confusion.

"Yes," said Anti-Norm patiently, "I'm Norm's opposite."

"Does that mean that you like gross stuff?" asked Chester, " 'cause Norm hates it."

"Yes, I do," said Anti-Norm, "any other questions or requests?"

"How about we do gross stuff together?"

"Yes."

Anti-Norm and Chester did gross stuff together, as well as other stuff that Norm hated and Chester liked anyway. Chester was glad to finally do such stuff without Norm scolding him, but he still missed Norm.

Anti-Norm wasn't Norm and Chester found that very easy to remember whenever he encountered a situation that Norm would have an extreme emotional reaction to. Anti-Norm's emotional reaction always was the exact opposite and sometimes Chester thought Norm's would probably be better.

Anti-Norm always was willing to submit to any of Chester's wishes even if the wishes weren't the type that he should wish for. He never seemed to show Norm's keen intelligence and Chester was left with the expression of him having none.

* * *

Anti-Norm was glad to finally be able to create good luck instead of bad, and be praised for that. Chester was a good godchild – even if Norm the Anti-Fairy agreed with him.

* * *

Anti-Cosmo smiled. Everything seemed to be working out perfectly in every part of his plan. No one could stop him and even if someone could, he was convinced that they didn't want to.

* * *

Norm the Anti-Fairy was relieved to finally be having fun without Chester's recent boring wishes. He could go to all the fun places on the fliers and never had to worry about Chester's gross mobile home. However, he couldn't help but stop and think that maybe something was wrong.

As much as he wanted to forget it, he missed Chester and wanted to godparent him again even though he knew that after Chester's recent streak of boring wishes and boring personality, that was a strange thing to do. Nevertheless, Norm did have great memories of Chester and they sometimes happened to invade into his fun, causing him to feel nostalgic. Maybe, he had become an Anti-Fairy too quickly. Maybe, being an Anti-Fairy wasn't a great thing for him…

Norm quickly yanked himself off that train of thought. He was in Hawaii, with loads of sexy dames. Anti-Norm the Fairy was taking care of his kid, and granting his mind-numbing wishes. Norm was free, so what was all this concern about?

Norm remembered when Chester stood up to Fairy Court when he was almost going to be put in jail for harming Turner. That was whom Norm was concerned about and wanted back, even though Norm had lost that Chester a few days ago.

The new Chester resembled a Pixie, with his interest in boring stuff and business. In fact, he was exactly like a Pixie. As soon as Norm realized that, he had an eureka moment. The new Chester didn't just resemble a Pixie; the new Chester was a Pixie! Norm wondered how he hadn't realized that before.

The Pixies were trying to get revenge on them both, Norm was sure. The Anti-Fairies also seemed to be engaging in nefarious stuff, judging from Anti-Cosmo's smile. The Pixies were back and the Anti-Fairies were being nefarious!

That provided an alternate explanation for why the genie dame flirted with him and took him to Anti-Fairy World. The Anti-Fairies wanted to tempt him into becoming an Anti-Fairy and had forced her to do so.

The Anti-Fairies were willing to enslave genies to accomplish their goals, and they had used one to tempt him? Norm almost threw up at the thought of what he had done when he decided to join the Anti-Fairies. If he knew that the genie dame had been forced to tempt him before he joined, he felt sure that he would have reconsidered doing it.

Norm groaned. He supposed he had to save the world – again!


	8. Official Protectors against Pixies

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Fairly OddParents._

**Author's Note: **Constructive criticism welcomed, particularly on characterization.

* * *

**Chapter 8: Official Protectors against Pixies**

The Anti-Fairies appeared in Jorgen's command centre. Jorgen wondered if they had caught the entire quota yet, though he assumed they had.

"We have caught fifty Pixies and they are all in this bag," said an Anti-Fairy, showing the bag to Jorgen.

Jorgen opened it to check. The Anti-Fairies did catch fifty after all.

* * *

"YOU ARE NOW THE OFFICIAL PROTECTORS AGAINST PIXIES!"

"And you are now caught," said an Anti-Fairy, as he swung the extra-large butterfly net on Jorgen.

"How dare you defy the authority of Jorgen Von Strangle?"

"Easily," replied the Anti-Fairy, "you don't have authority anymore."

Anti-Cosmo picked up Jorgen's wand (which was heavier than lead-lined rock). He ANTI-POOFed up Da Rules, and used both his wand and Jorgen's at the same time. The wand and Da Rules submitted to his might and became his.

"I reign Anti-Fairy World and Fairy World," said Anti-Cosmo, "two down, the rest of the universe to go!"

"Can we go and cause random bad luck now?" asked another Anti-Fairy.

"Yes, you are at no risk of being stopped by Jorgen," said Anti-Cosmo, "go on your merry way and cause dire glee."

Several Anti-Fairies ANTI-POOFed out of the command centre, assumingly to Earth.

* * *

Norm was back in Anti-Fairy World. He figured that saving the world would be easier if he actually was close to the villain's lair. He had removed Chester's wish for him to "tell the truth" because he had realized that since he granted the wish, surely he could take it off. Norm wondered why he hadn't realized that he could do that before. It was such a relief to be able to lie again. If he had to tell the truth all the time, he'd never be able to defeat both the Pixies and the Anti-Fairies.

* * *

"The female genie isn't needed anymore," commanded Anti-Cosmo, using the phone function of his Anti-Fairyberry, "remove the mind-control and imprison her back in her lamp."

Anti-Fortune removed the mind-control and the female genie's eyes ceased to look woozy and the sparkles disappeared from around her. He wondered why Norm hadn't noticed them. Too stressed out by fake Chester, he bet.

* * *

"Where am I?" asked the female genie in a way distinctly unlike a damsel-in-distress, "Anti-Fairy World, right?"

Norm couldn't help but overhear the female genie. He presumed that the Anti-Fairies had freed her from the mind-control. He longed to go in there and severely harm the Anti-Fairies, but he knew better than to expose his real feelings about them so quick. Norm was sure the dame could cope with it herself. She didn't seem like a damsel-in-distress.

"Yes," said the Anti-Fairy creepily, "You are in Anti-Fairy World. Next stop, your lamp."

Now that got Norm simmering, but he knew that he had to control himself or the Anti-Fairies would know that he wasn't on their side, and the world would be doomed.

"I wish you were back in your lamp."

GONG!

She got sucked back into her lamp. Norm groaned. He hated being in his lamp and it wasn't a stretch to think that she thought likewise of hers. Then, Norm remembered that he could do something.

Norm entered the room. Anti-Cosmo's castle sure was eerie, maybe even frightening if you were human.

"Hey, would you mind if I borrowed the sexy genie dame you were just using, would you?" asked Norm, trying to sound casual, as though he borrowed sexy genie dames every day, "you had a really long turn and – dang, I want some."

Norm felt uncomfortable with talking about another genie that way, but luckily what he had alluded to wanting wasn't actually what he wanted the dame for.

"Sure," replied the Anti-Fairy, "she's so tempting that you actually want what she tempted you with. I wish you were out of your lamp, but not free."

Norm hated loopholes when other people used them against him (though not when he used them against them) and emphasized with how the dame was probably feeling.

GONG!

The dame spiraled out of the lamp. Norm marveled at how sexy a genie dame could look when just coming out of their lamp when it was rubbed or they were wished to. Norm shook his head. How was he ever supposed to save the world if he was distracted by the sexiness of genie dames?

"What, does he want to play with me too?" asked the dame, "typical."

Norm knew how that felt and he wanted to explain that it wasn't his intent, but he knew not to expose his true motives.

She followed Norm as he left the room anyway, and when Norm ANTI-POOFed them to Crocker's house, she decided to question Norm further.

"I know weird kinks exist," said the dame, "but do you seriously like to bed people at Mr. Crocker's house?"

Norm laughed. What she said sounded strangely familiar…

"You were just faking forgetting what happened under mind-control, weren't you?" asked Norm, "magical creatures have more of a chance remembering events that happened when they were mind-controlled than humans do, don't they?"

"Yeah," replied the genie dame, "Do you really think I'd let the Anti-Fairies know I remembered?"

"Nope," replied Norm, "and I know this is trivial, but what's your name?"

"Calais," replied the genie dame, "Cal for short."

"Cal," said Norm, "I'm Norm the swinging, magical, Anti-Fairy/genie!"

He even used his typical neon sign.

* * *

Cal groaned. Boy, he sure had an ego!

"Get to the point, already, Mr. Swinging Magical!" said Cal frustrated, "why are we at Crocker's house?"

"I wanted to get away from the Anti-Fairies," said Norm, "since they thought that using a mind-controlled genie would tempt me to join them and they replaced my kid with a _Pixie_, I decided that I didn't want to be on their side anymore. They forced you back into your lamp and… so yeah. Crockpot's house was the first place I thought of."

"Oh, will you save the world from them, or just you, me and your kid?"

"The world," replied Norm, "Cal, can you stay here so I don't look suspicious in Anti-Fairy World?"

"Yeah," replied Calais, "I know how suspicious it would look if you brought me to Anti-Fairy World and treated me like an equal instead of toy or tool."

"Beware of Crockpot though," said Norm, "or GONG yourself to Hawaii or something. I'd love to meet you there."

Cal groaned. Was the Anti-Fairy/genie attempting to flirt with her? That was not what she needed.

"Okay, I got it," she replied, "beware of Mr. Crocker, got it!"

* * *

Norm ANTI-POOFed away. He was going to save the world – with stealth and trickery – and wouldn't let anyone stop him!


	9. Buying a World

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Fairly OddParents._

**Author's Note: **Constructive criticism welcomed, particularly on characterization.

* * *

**Chapter 9: Buying a World**

ANTI-POOF!

Anti-Cosmo appeared in front of the Head Pixie's cage.

"I have a business deal that I'd like to make," said Anti-Cosmo sinisterly.

"Of what kind?" asked the Head Pixie monotonously.

"I'll help you escape from Abracatraz if you sell me Pixie World," replied Anti-Cosmo.

Head Pixie thought about it. He did want to escape Abracatraz, but he wanted to own Pixie World too. He was positive that he was intelligent enough to come up with an escape plan himself.

"No," said Head Pixie in monotone. "I think I am able to come up with my own escape plan."

* * *

Anti-Cosmo hadn't considered that, but he could improvise.

"If you escape on your own, I will command my Anti-Fairies to stop you. We are the Official Protectors against Pixies, aren't we?"

"Yes," said the Pixie in a monotone, getting out a form. "Sign this, pay for Pixie World – I accept both cash and credit – and it will be yours."

Anti-Cosmo signed the form gleefully. Three down, the rest of the universe to go!

Then, he set the Head Pixie free from his cage.

* * *

Head Pixie began wondering how to buy Pixie World back from Anti-Cosmo.

* * *

Anti-Cosmo ANTI-POOFed to Pixie World, which contained no living beings other than him.

* * *

"I, Anti-Cosmo, now rule three Worlds, Pixie World, Fairy World and Anti-Fairy World!"

Norm groaned. That was rather quick of Anti-Cosmo. Norm wondered why he hadn't guessed Anti-Cosmo would do that. Saving the genie dame seemed to have been detrimental to stopping Anti-Cosmo. He really needed to get his priorities straight, before Anti-Cosmo ruled the Earth, the Mythical Forest or anywhere else as well.

Norm wondered where Anti-Cosmo would try to rule next. Norm didn't think the Mythical Forest was first on anyone's list of Great Places to Rule Over. However, Earth frequently was.

Norm grinned. After living his entire, long life on Earth, he was sure that he knew it well enough to outsmart Anti-Cosmo there. Anti-Cosmo wouldn't know what he was dealing with!


	10. Light to Fright

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Fairly OddParents._

**Author's Note: **Constructive criticism welcomed, particularly on characterization.

* * *

**Chapter 10: Light to Fright**

Tootie knew that the fake Chester was gone, so she felt unsure about what to do next. She wondered why the Pixies and Anti-Fairies even replaced him if they were going to just put him back when they finished. Then, she thought about how after the real Chester came back, the crowned genie's personality had a 180 and his fashion sense inverted. Maybe, the fake Chester was put there to make him do the 180.

* * *

As he was Cosmo's opposite, Anti-Cosmo was a genius. That meant that he could probably guess that if anyone were trying to stop him, they'd assume he'd go for Earth next, so he decided to go for the Mythical Forest.

It had many bright colors not naturally found in nature and it felt peaceful. There were centaurs, unicorns, Pegasus, sea monsters and hippie Bigfoots. The only thing Anti-Cosmo liked about the place was the sea monster though it seemed to be just as peaceful and brightly colored as anything else there. Well, Anti-Cosmo could fix that.

* * *

Norm had searched the Earth a million times and counting for Anti-Cosmo. However, he hadn't found him anywhere. Norm wondered if Anti-Cosmo didn't need to be on Earth to control it. He groaned in frustration. Oh boy, saving the world was hard!

* * *

Chester wondered where Norm was. He and Anti-Norm had done enough gross stuff to last a lifetime, so Chester didn't particularly wish to do more. He just wanted Norm back.

* * *

Anti-Norm wondered why Chester had stopped being so excited about him. Had he done something wrong? Was _he himself_ something wrong? Did Chester prefer Norm to him? Anti-Norm started crying. Chester, being a kind child, immediately starting comforting him, and Anti-Norm felt better.

* * *

Anti-Cosmo got out his wand and touched the sea monster with it. Its teeth became even sharper and it acquired a dark aura. Anti-Cosmo smiled sinisterly. Now, the sea monster was chillingly malevolent. Just as he liked it!

Then, he used it on the unicorn, because he felt like throwing up from the sheer virtue of it. The unicorn's teeth turned into fangs and its body turned dark blue. Perfect in an evil way.

* * *

Tootie felt angry as she watched an Anti-Fairy cause lots of bad luck for Timmy. How dare anyone harm her true love like that!

"Hey, icky!" challenged Tootie, "get your wand away from my love!"

Timmy both winced and sighed lovingly at Tootie's attempt to defend him.

"Interspecies romance?" questioned the Anti-Fairy, "well, I guess if it floats your boat. However, I won't get 'get my wand away from your love.' My love is causing bad luck and your love is a good way to do my love."

"I don't care!" shouted Tootie, "anyone who wants to harm Timmy has to go through me first."

"You are just an impossible, nerdy girl," said the Anti-Fairy, "what makes you think you stop me?"

Anti-Wizzy smiled. The impossible, nerdy girl would just be another thing to cause bad luck for. She probably wouldn't even be capable of protecting her love from him.

"Impossible?" questioned Tootie, "if that means impossible for you to defeat, I hope so!"

Tootie wondered if a magical version of one of Vicky's tortures would be a good way to stop the Anti-Fairy. Tootie then thought back to them. Yep, probably would.

POOF!

A toilet appeared. The Anti-Fairy magically got a wedgie and magically stuffed into the toilet. Then, Tootie POOFed up a fire-spurting bazooka and aimed it at him. Tootie hoped Timmy was safe, since she didn't want to harm anyone longer than she needed too. She decided to POOF him back to the prison, so he wouldn't be near Timmy.

"That was so cool!" shouted Timmy, "Tootie, you're amazing!"

Tootie blushed. Timmy liked her! Finally!

"So, you finally want to date me?" she asked gleefully.

Timmy winced. He didn't like it when Tootie acted like that. He then remembered how she had saved him awesomely and decided to let it slide. Tootie was great; she just needed to stop being so obvious in her love for all things Timmy Tiberius Turner. However, it was good for getting an ego-boost.

"Maybe," said Timmy, blushing, "yeah, I don't know. Alright, dude, I'm only ten, so ask me later."

Tootie smiled. Timmy was blushing and he had said she was awesome. That definitely indicated that he could be interested in her that way.

* * *

Anti-Cosmo gazed in glee at the new edition of the Mystical Forest. It was an Anti-Fairy's wish come true now. Dark, ominous, frightening, dangerous, unlucky…

Perfect.

He wondered what world to conquer next. The person that could be trying to defeat him might still think he was going for Earth next. Anti-Cosmo didn't want to risk being defeated, so he didn't want to go for Earth yet. Then, Anti-Cosmo recalled three other worlds: Patio World, Mattress World and World News Tonight. They all sounded worthless, so no one trying to save the world from him would guess that he'd ever try to take over them.

Anti-Cosmo then began to reconsider the worthlessness of Mattress World. Yuggotamians hated pillows, mattresses and other soft, sweet and nice stuff, so going to Mattress World would both fool anyone trying to stop him, and get him stuff to help him conquer somewhere worth more than Mattress World.

Anti-Cosmo smiled sinisterly. Conquering the universe was so easy when you were the opposite of a fairy dunce!


	11. Mattress King

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Fairly OddParents._

**Author's Note: **Constructive criticism welcomed, particularly on characterization.

* * *

**Chapter 11: Mattress King**

Anti-Cosmo was revolted by the cute softness of Mattress World. It was so benevolent. He smiled. Perfect for weakening Yuggotamians.

Anti-Cosmo spotted a fairy wearing pajamas and holding a scepter. Oh, bugger! The Sandman. Anti-Cosmo had once seen first hand how fierce the Sandman could be if the future of sleep was threatened.

"Hey? What gives? My Anti-Fairy alarm went off!" said the Sandman, sounding annoyed, "you're making me lose sales!"

Anti-Cosmo grinned. The Sandman had a problem with losing sales? He figured that he could use that.

"If you give me Mattress World, I'll pay you twice the amount that all your customers would," said Anti-Cosmo.

"What gives? I can't lose my gig," protested Sandman, "if I lose it, the Pixies might take it. I like my gig. It's nap-tastic."

Anti-Cosmo mused over that. The Sandman didn't want to lose either his gig or his possible future money.

"You can keep your store and your powers," said Anti-Cosmo, "but you must clear it with us every time you use your powers. I will pay you ten times the money you lose whenever you waste your time talking to unnecessary people."

"Very well! I will return to my mattresses! Time is money and money is gorgeous!"

The Sandman POOFed away in a swirl of sand.

Anti-Cosmo smiled and picked up a few mattresses. Now that he had Mattress World, it was time to conquer Yuggotamia.

ANTI-POOF!

* * *

Norm wondered why Anti-Cosmo wasn't anywhere on Earth. Then it occurred to him that Anti-Cosmo was Cosmo's Anti-Fairy and since Cosmo was one of the biggest idiots ever born, Anti-Cosmo probably was one of the most intelligent Anti-Fairies in existence. Therefore, he had probably realized that someone trying to stop him would think he'd go to Earth next, and plan around that.

Even though according to Norm's watch it was night, no one was asleep. Norm groaned. Anti-Cosmo had evidently conquered Mattress World and he hadn't been there to stop him.

Norm figured that since mattress were cute and soft, they were good weapons against Yuggotamians, and therefore Anti-Cosmo was going to conquer Yuggotamia. Norm groaned. Yuggotamia was so gross, and he hated gross stuff! Ah well, if he wanted to save Chester, Calais, Hawaii, numerous go-kart tracks, fancy restaurants that he liked to date dames at, baseball and several other things he cared about, he had to go to Yuggotamia.

* * *

Calais was feeling impatient with Norm. How long could saving the world take? It wasn't as though he had to destroy all of Lord Voldemort's Horcruxes or something really long and difficult like that.

Calais felt sure that she could probably help Norm without having to go to Anti-Fairy World. No one was asleep, so Mattress World was probably conquered. Calais wondered if Anti-Cosmo did that, so he could weaken the Yuggotamians. She figured she could help stop Anti-Cosmo in Yuggotamia, as long as he didn't spot her.

A genie dame could save the world just as well as a genie guy could!


	12. Mattresses of Doom

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Fairly OddParents._

**Author's Note: **Constructive criticism welcomed, particularly on characterization.

* * *

**Chapter 12: Mattresses of Doom**

Chester wondered where Norm was. Then, he remembered that he did have a fairy and could wish to be with Norm, if he wanted.

"Anti-Norm! I have a wish for you to grant!"

Anti-Norm POOFed beside him, looking very elated. He loved it when Chester had wishes for him to grant.

"I wish we were where Norm is," said Chester, "even if he's in Anti-Fairy World."

POOF!

* * *

Anti-Cosmo gazed at Yuggotamia gleefully. Yuggotamians were so similar to Anti-Fairies. They also liked stuff that everyone else thought unpleasant and probably would be good allies.

"Yuggotamians, make me ruler or you will get harmed by my mattresses of doom," commanded Anti-Cosmo, "there is no third option."

* * *

Norm groaned. How could he persuade the Yuggotamians that getting harmed by mattresses of doom would be better than Anti-Cosmo ruling another world? Yuggotamians were evil and they liked stuff that most reasonable people hated.

Then, Norm remembered that he liked cute and soft things. He wouldn't get harmed by touching them and might find it comforting. Moreover, he could shag dames on them. It wasn't the devious counter-scheme he had hoped for, but…

"Hey, Norm!"

Norm groaned. Chester.

"Can I help you defeat Anti-Cosmo?"

Norm facepalmed and wondered why he hadn't POOFed up a desk to headdesk on, 'cause he was sure that he needed it.

* * *

Anti-Cosmo wondered who the child was. Whoever, he was, the child thought Norm was trying to defeat him and wanted to help him. The child needed to be dealt with.

* * *

ANTI-POOF!

The mattresses appeared in Norm's hand and Norm POOFed them back to Mattress World, since he had decided that he didn't need a dozen mattresses.

"Why are you returning Mattress King mattresses?" asked the Sandman, "Aren't my mattresses nap-tastic?"

Norm groaned.

"Just so you know, I never bought your products," said Norm, feeling irritated. "You aren't losing any money."

"Then, why did you return Mattress King mattresses?"

"Mr. Megalomaniacal Genius was using them to threaten Yuggotamians," replied Norm, wondering why the heck the Sandman would interrogate him after he returned his stuff.

The Sandman called his brother, Lewis, who checked the long list of customers for ones named 'Mr. Megalomaniacal Genius.'

"There is no Mattress King customer named 'Mr. Megalomaniacal Genius,'" replied Lewis.

Norm groaned.

"By 'Mr. Megalomaniacal Genius,' I meant Anti-Cosmo," said Norm, clearly frustrated.

"He controls Mattress World now," replied Lewis.

"Which means that you are not allowed to nick his stuff," replied the Sandman.

Norm gulped, while rolling his eyes. He couldn't catch a break, could he?

* * *

Calais was shocked to see Chester and Anti-Norm in Yuggotamia. Did they think they could help Norm too?

Anti-Cosmo ANTI-POOFed Chester inside a dog crate, which he picked up.

"Why did you do that?" asked Anti-Norm naively.

"He was in the way of my schemes."

"Your schemes? What are schemes anyway?"

"Schemes are secret and cunning plans."

Calais groaned. Anti-Cosmo was just as egoistical as Norm.

Anti-Norm felt nervous. He wanted to protect Chester, but what if everyone hated him for it and made fun of him again. Then, he remembered all the fun times he had with Chester, how caring Chester was whenever he cried and how Chester cared about everyone. Even if Norm agreed with him about Chester, Anti-Norm did like him and he had to protect him, since Norm was out of action.

Anti-Norm hit Anti-Cosmo. He didn't know of anything better to do. Anti-Cosmo dropped Chester's crate. He panicked, fearing Chester's death, then he floated down and caught Chester's crate. He sighed in relief. Chester was safe.

"Thanks, Anti-Norm," said Chester.

"You're welcome," replied Anti-Norm.

* * *

Anti-Cosmo knew that since Norm, Chester, Anti-Norm and the female genie that he didn't spare a thought for knew of his intents toward the Yuggotamians, he had to modify his plan.

"We, Anti-Fairies, are quite like you Yuggotamians, as the previous demonstration proved to you," said Anti-Cosmo suavely. "If we form an alliance, we will be able to help each other achieve our mutual goals."

The Yuggotamians did the Yuggotamian equivalent of cheering and the king and queen approved the alliance.

Anti-Cosmo smiled. Six worlds down, the rest of the universe to go!


	13. Unlucky Number 7slash13

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Fairly OddParents._

**Author's Note: **Constructive criticism welcomed, particularly on characterization.

* * *

**Chapter 13: (Un)Lucky Number 7/13**

A sandy POOF enveloped Anti-Cosmo, confusing him.

"Why did you call me?"

"We captured a genie/Anti-Fairy hybrid," said Lewis.

"He nicked your stuff."

Anti-Cosmo smiled. Norm couldn't stop him now, could he?

* * *

Calais wondered why Norm hadn't come back. What could have happened to him? Anti-Cosmo did disappear in a sandy POOF that reminded her of the Sandman, so maybe the Sandman had caught Norm.

She wondered if she could be any help, but reminded herself that Norm was an devious genie and surely able to trick himself out of any bad situation that could arise. He probably didn't need her help, and telling Chester of what happened would probably cause him to accidentally make the situation even worse. She didn't want that to happen.

* * *

Norm hated being trapped, even if he was trapped in a room full of magically comfortable mattress. Regardless of how comfortable they were, it couldn't help but eventually get boring.

However, Norm knew that however bored he got, if he went to sleep, he might lose his chance to escape the mattress prison and defeat Anti-Cosmo.

Norm wondered if the mattresses could burn. He POOFed a flame onto his fingertip and touched the mattresses. Nope. No ignition. He groaned. On the day one wants things to catch fire…

They don't.

Norm looked for holes and turned himself into a beetle. He smiled as he found one and escaped through it.

The air tasted so great now that he was out.

* * *

Patio World. Yes, paved areas adjoining houses, and roofless inner courtyards typical of Spanish style houses had their own world. Yes, Anti-Cosmo wanted to conquer it. He wondered how one would even conquer such a place. He supposed that buying all its patios would probably work.

"Would you like to buy a patio?"

"Yes, I would like to buy them all."

"That's thirteen million nine hundred ninety nine point ninety nine dollars," replied the patio salesman. "Pay up!"

Anti-Cosmo linked his Anti-Credit Card into the bank machine and pulled the amount requested by the salesman from Pixie World. The Pixies were rich, so he was sure they could stand to lose millions of dollars. If they couldn't stand to, that didn't matter too much to him. He could always conquer other worlds and acquire more money.

Anti-Cosmo paid the salesman the required amount of money.

He smiled sinisterly. Seven down, the rest of the universe to go!

Seven was a lucky number, so Anti-Cosmo didn't like it. What if the lucky number helped Norm, Chester, Anti-Norm and the female genie defeat him?

He had to acquire World News Tonight tonight if he wanted to remain the ruler of at least some parts of the universe. Anti-Cosmo then reconsidered that thought. World News Tonight was probably a hard World to acquire and many other Worlds existed, including Cherry World, Hairy World, Dairy World, Scary World and Burger World. Scary World sounded easy. Scary World, it was.

* * *

Norm had left Mattress World by now, and wondered where Anti-Cosmo was and where he'd be next. Cherry World? Hairy World? Scary World? Dairy World? Burger World? Patio World? World News Tonight? Was the Chin Universe a World?

It occurred to Norm that Scary World probably matched up well to Anti-Cosmo's personality and values, so it probably would be easy for him to conquer and might be one of his first stops.


	14. Eight to Ten

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Fairly OddParents._

**Author's Note: **Constructive criticism welcomed, particularly on characterization. The magical creatures in the various worlds often are creatures that were shown once or twice on the show and not developed upon.

* * *

**Chapter 14: Eight to Ten**

Anti-Cosmo gazed at Scary World, feeling utterly elated. Scary World was perfect.

"Scary citizens, I'm Anti-Cosmo and I reign over Anti-Fairy World, Fairy World, Pixie World, the Mythical Forest, Mattress World, Yuggotamia and Patio World. Us Anti-Fairies are very much like you. With me as your ruler, you will attain a better economy, more chances to scare people, and will meet many kindred spirits."

The scary population snickered when Anti-Cosmo mentioned the Mythical Forest, Mattress World and Patio World, but started seriously listening when Anti-Cosmo told them the advantages of having him as ruler.

A vampire turned into a bat and placed a crown on Anti-Cosmo's head. Anti-Cosmo smiled. He now had eight worlds, which wasn't a lucky number.

* * *

Norm groaned. Trying to stop Anti-Cosmo from taking over Scary World was like trying to stop a fish from swimming. The laws of nature seemed to dictate that fish always would swim – and likewise Anti-Cosmo would be able to rule Scary World without putting in much effort.

* * *

Anti-Cosmo wondered where to go next. Hairy World was Anti-Fairy-like, though its homonym Harry World wasn't. Anti-Cosmo could bet five shillings that if Cosmo decided to go to Hairy World, he'd end up in Harry World. Luckily (or should one say unluckily), Anti-Cosmo was Cosmo's opposite and therefore never made that embarrassing mistake.

ANTI-POOF!

* * *

GONG!

Calais appeared in Mattress World. She presumed Norm was there, and she wanted to save him.

"What? Another genie? I thought the last one was enough of nuisance," said the Sandman in annoyance.

Norm was here!

"There was another genie?" inquired Cal, trying to sound as if she didn't know whom he was talking about.

"Yes," said the Sandman's brother, Lewis. "Curly black hair, fez, teal blue tail and clothes, gold bangles."

"Yeah, that's him!"

"He nicked Anti-Cosmo's nap-tastic mattresses," replied Harvey Sandman.

Calais groaned. Nap-tastic, like come on!

"So, what'd do to him?"

"What do you think people do to guys that nicked someone else's stuff?"

"Uh, put them in jail," said Cal, rolling her eyes skyward, even though she also was worried about Norm. "So, Norm's in jail!"

"He was the last time we saw him," replied Lewis.

"He should be," said Harvey Sandman threateningly. "Anti-Cosmo made me a great deal, and he rules Mattress World now."

Norm? In jail? How could he save the world from in there?

"Please, release him," pleaded Cal. "Anti-Cosmo is evil. Evil! Norm was trying to stop him!"

"If he's evil, why'd he made me that great deal?"

"He made you that 'great deal' because he wants to rule the universe, and Mattress World is only one stepping stone on the path to universal domination," replied Cal.

"But, he promised me tons of money to make up for any sales I lose when talking to useless people – like you," replied the Sandman as he literally shrank a few inches.

Cal simmered. Why did the Sandman think she was useless?

Then, she noticed Sandman's literal shrinking. He shrank whenever people stopped sleeping for a significant amount of time. Oh, no!

Even if he called her 'useless,' he was essential to the Fairy Force and the time-wish-continuum. If he shrank too small, the world would be doomed.

"Make people sleep again. You're shrinking! Its Anti-Cosmo's fault!"

"He is going down!" shouted the Sandman, shooting sleep magic out of his hands. "HOO HA HA!"

"Allies?"

"Allies," replied the Sandman. "But, I won't free your guy."

"What makes you think he's my guy?"

The Sandman didn't dignify that question with an answer.

* * *

Hairy World. If one had hair all over their body, they probably would blend in nicely. Anti-Cosmo had brought several Bigfoots, mammoths, werewolves and other hairy creatures there. The inhabitants were thrilled to see creatures as hairy as they were.

"I'm Anti-Cosmo, ruler of Anti-Fairy World, Fairy World, Pixie World, the Mythical Forest, Mattress World, Yuggotamia, Patio World and Scary World. Many of those worlds contain hairy creatures much like you. If I become your king, immigration will become easier for any hairy creature that wants to live in your world."

He showed them the creatures had acquired, then ANTI-POOFed himself lots of hair.

"If you don't let me reign over your world, you will all become hairless!"

An extremely hairy monkey jumped on Anti-Cosmo's hair and knotted it into a crown. Anti-Cosmo smiled sinisterly. Nine worlds.

Anti-Cosmo stopped smiling when he realized nine was a lucky number or at least a multiple of a lucky number. He had to acquire another world before his enemies took advantage of that.

Burger World would be an easy world to acquire, since it was just a glorified fast food restaurant. Anti-Cosmo didn't like fast food. It wasn't cultured enough, and Cosmo loved it.

* * *

Norm wondered where Anti-Cosmo would go next. He had last seen him in Scary World. Norm's stomach grumbled, and he groaned. He supposed it was time for a trip to Burger World.

ANTI-POOF!

Norm appeared at Burger World. He entered it and was pleased to see that it had toys of him and Chester, but groaned when he saw that there were also Turner, Cosmo and Wanda toys.

Norm chose a seat, waiting for a waiter or waitress to come and take his order.

However, Anti-Cosmo ANTI-POOFed in just as he did so.

Norm groaned. Anti-Cosmo wanted to rule Burger World?

ANTI-POOF!

The fast food turned into fancy food, and the waiters and waitresses wore fancier outfits. Norm groaned. Was that the best Anti-Cosmo could do?

"Will you appoint me as the manager of this corporation?"

"Heck no," replied Norm. "Yeah, I like both fancy and fast, but I'm quite sure that there are enough fancy restaurants to cure your cravings?"

"If you don't appoint me manager, I'll magically poison all the food made by this World."

* * *

"You're the manager of Burger World now," said a stuttering employee.

Anti-Cosmo smiled. Ten worlds down, the rest of the universe to go!

He figured Dairy or Cherry World would be a good choice for the next world to reign over.

* * *

Tootie had fought several Anti-Fairies that tried to give Timmy bad luck, and now felt tired beyond belief. However, Timmy thought she was awesome and that more than made up for any pain she had to go through.

* * *

Norm wondered where Anti-Cosmo was attempting to reign next. He had Anti-Fairy World, Fairy World, Pixie World, the Mythical Forest, Mattress World, Yuggotamia, Patio World, Scary World and Burger World already. Did he have Hairy World?

Norm wasn't sure. He wanted to check.

ANTI-POOF!

"You aren't hairy!" shouted an unbelievably hairy monster.

"Oh, but, I thought I had longer hair than most men," said Norm with a tone of fake petulance.

"You do, but hairy is this," said the hairy monster, showing a picture of a very hairy Anti-Cosmo.

Norm groaned. Anti-Cosmo had claimed Hairy World after all.

Norm guessed that Anti-Cosmo would go to Dairy World or Cherry World next.

Even if Anti-Cosmo ruled lots of Worlds, Norm was cocky enough to believe he was able to stop him!


	15. Dairy Cherry

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Fairly OddParents._

**Author's Note: **Constructive criticism welcomed, particularly on characterization. In addition, I'd like to know what you think about Calais. Is she unnoticeable? Too noticeable? Interesting? Annoying? Do you like her? Do you hate her? Is she well written? Badly-written? Does she even cross your mind?

* * *

**Chapter 15: Dairy Cherry**

"I'm Anti-Cosmo, ruler of Anti-Fairy World, Fairy World, Pixie World, the Mythical Forest, Mattress World, Yuggotamia, Patio World, Scary World, Hairy World and Burger World. Anti-Fairies invented crazy cow disease and will use it on you if you don't make us ruler."

Several of the cow-fairies fainted. Anti-Cosmo smiled. His threat obviously worked, at least on the level of causing fear.

* * *

Norm groaned and facepalmed. How was he to convince the citizens of Dairy World that letting Anti-Cosmo rule them would be a bad idea? Crazy cow disease was a bad thing, and Norm knew that they wouldn't trade it in for the greater good.

"You're now king of Dairy World," said a cow-fairy to Anti-Cosmo. "May your udder never run out of dairy."

Norm ANTI-POOFed up a desk, specially for himself to headdesk on, and did so.

* * *

Lewis Sandman got out his laptop and searched, "Worlds Ruled by Anti-Cosmo."

The only result was **Anti-Cosmo's List of Worlds I Reign**. Lewis clicked on it, and read:

-Anti-Fairy World

-Fairy World

-Pixie World

-The Mythical Forest

-Mattress World

-Yuggotamia

-Patio World

-Scary World

-Hairy World

-Burger World

-Dairy World

"Wow, long list," said Calais.

"Where do you think he will go next?"

"Cherry World," replied Cal.

GONG!

The makeshift trio appeared in Cherry World.

* * *

"I wish we were with Norm."

POOF!

Chester and Anti-Norm appeared in Cherry World.

* * *

Norm groaned. What if Chester accidentally caused Anti-Cosmo to win or know of his plans to defeat him? What if Anti-Norm acted like a complete idiot and messed it up by doing that?

"So everyone's here," said Anti-Cosmo suavely. "The two filthy genies. The Anti-Fairy that won't cause bad luck. The underprivileged human child. Why are you here, Harvey and Lewis? Aren't you on my side?"

"Filthy?" shouted Calais. "We are not filthy."

Norm ANTI-POOFed to her, and gripped her shoulder.

"Cal, could you please not ruin our efforts to stop Anti-Cosmo," whispered Norm. "Yeah, I totally get where you're coming from, but not now. We'll have lots of time later, if Anti-Cosmo doesn't take over the world – that is. I'm a devious mastermind, so I know this sort of stuff."

"Okay, Norm," replied Cal.

Norm released his grip.

"We're here because you prevented everyone from sleeping and caused me to run out of magic," replied Harvey Sandman to Anti-Cosmo.

"I can fix that," replied Anti-Cosmo.

ANTI-POOF!

"I no longer control your sleep magic," continued Anti-Cosmo.

The Sandman did some Sleep-Fu, and Norm, Anti-Norm, Calais and Chester went to sleep. He grew a few inches.

Anti-Cosmo transformed all the cherries into poisonous berries, the sky from pink to dark blue, and the lakes from cherry juice to oil, making into a world that was the polar opposite of what it was previously.

Anti-Cosmo smiled sinisterly. He ruled twelve Worlds now, and his enemies were asleep. He figured now was a good time to conquer World News Tonight, since he had guessed it to be a tricky world.

* * *

Tootie wondered why there were so many Anti-Fairies targeting her and Timmy. What were they and why did they decide to do their stuff now?

POOF!

She and Timmy appeared in Anti-Fairy World. It was so eerie, and they both couldn't help but shiver.

For some reason, no Anti-Fairies were there.

POOF!

Tootie wondered what was currently happening, but had somehow ended up in a weird place that looked like a large version of the interior of a news station. Where was she?


	16. World News Tonight

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Fairly OddParents._

**Author's Note: **Constructive criticism welcomed, particularly on characterization. I allow anonymous reviews (reviews from people without accounts), so if you don't have an account, you can review my fanfics.

* * *

**Chapter 16: World News Tonight**

Anti-Cosmo wondered how to take over World News Tonight. Then, he got an idea.

ANTI-POOF!

The reporters were tied up by rope that tinkled with dark magic.

* * *

Tootie wondered why the Anti-Fairy magically tied up the reporters. If only she knew what this place was!

Timmy seemed tired and if they remained there, the Anti-Fairy might decide to target them too.

* * *

Anti-Cosmo spotted the two children. How had Timothy Tiberius Turner get there? Hadn't he lost all his memories of them?

"Sandman," called Anti-Cosmo, while ANTI-POOFing. "I have a job for you."

Harvey Sandman appeared.

"Hey! What gives?" said the Sandman in annoyance, then, he spotted Timmy. "Hey! Isn't that Timmy Tiberius Turner?"

"Yes, that is Timothy Tiberius Turner," replied Anti-Cosmo. "Make him go to sleep."

"He once wished that everybody didn't have to sleep," said Sandman annoyed. "Luckily, he unwished it, and my business boomed. Why do you want me to make him go to sleep?"

"If you don't put him to sleep, I will make it so no one will ever want to buy Mattress King mattresses ever again," answered Anti-Cosmo.

The Sandman POOFed above Timmy and did some Sleep-Fu on him. Timmy went to sleep.

* * *

Tootie glared at Anti-Cosmo. What did he want with her love, Timmy Tiberius Turner?

"The nerdy fairy girl I've been hearing about. How frightening. Are you going to POOF my head in the toilet or something like that?" mocked Anti-Cosmo.

"The toilet would probably be too nice a fate for you! You hurt Timmy Tiberius Turner…"

"My name is Miss Nerdy Fairy Girl. You hurt Timmy Tiberius Turner. Prepare to die, by any chance?" mocked Anti-Cosmo. "Sorry, but Anti-Fairies are immortal."

"Yes, that could work," replied Tootie. "But, that wasn't what I was going to say."

POOF!

Anti-Cosmo ended up in a gigantic litterbox.

"Isn't that a toilet? For cats?"

"Yes," said Tootie, POOFing his head off his body. "Now, your head isn't in it."

ANTI-POOF!

Anti-Cosmo escaped the litterbox and the reattached his head to his body.

Tootie felt uncomfortable with hurting him, but she knew it needed to be done to save Timmy Tiberius Turner.

* * *

Norm woke up with a start. Where was he?

He looked around, trying to ascertain his position. Poisonous berries, dark blue sky, oil lakes…

Not anywhere he recognized.

He wondered where Calais, Chester and Anti-Norm were.

Then, Norm noticed that it felt as though there was someone's body below him. Norm looked down. Cal.

"Hey, Cal! If you want to save the world, you have to wake up! Now!" said Norm, feeling annoyed.

Cal woke up.

"Norm, you ruined my sleep," she complained.

"Yeah, yeah, I know," replied Norm. "But, I'm sure you'll have plenty of time to sleep once the world is saved. Especially, if you're doing it with me."

"Alright," said Cal. "I'm up. Should we wake Chester and Anti-Norm?"

"Nope," said Norm. "Neither of them are big on smarts."

"Okay," replied Cal. "So, its just you and me."

"Yeah, just you and me," replied Norm. "So, where do you think Anti-Cosmo is now?"

Cal groaned.

"The Chin Universe? World News Tonight?"

"I'd guess World News Tonight," replied Norm.

Chester woke up.

"Hey, guys, what are you talking about?"

"Where Anti-Cosmo might be next, kid," replied Norm. "You probably shouldn't come, because I don't think you're high on deviousness."

"Its adults only, kid," continued Cal.

"Planning on sleeping with me, are you?" asked Norm.

"You have a big ego, you know that?" asked Cal.

"Yeah, and you're shagadelic."

Cal groaned at Norm's use of seventies slang. Shagadelic, oh please.

"Never mind that," replied Norm. "Let's just POOF to World News Tonight, defeat Mr. Megalomanical Genius, and then we can shag."

"What makes you think we'll be shagging?"

"It's an educated guess," protested Norm.

GONG!

ANTI-POOF!

They both appeared at World News Tonight.

"Ah, the two filthy genies," replied Anti-Cosmo. "I thought I had dealt with you."

"Yeah, Norm, you were being a bit indecent," said Cal to Norm, in a sardonic tone.

Then, Norm spotted Turner, and a geeky fairy girl. That was impossible. Didn't Turner lose his memory, and weren't fairies not allowed to have kids anymore?

"Norm, focus!"

"Okay, okay," replied Norm.

Anti-Cosmo attempted to trap Timmy in a magical cage, but the impossible nerdy fairy girl used her magic to repel it.

Anti-Cosmo flew toward the microphone, turned on the cameras, and stood where the reporter usually did.

"I'm Anti-Cosmo, and I'm the king of Anti-Fairy World, Fairy World, Pixie World, The Mythical Forest, Mattress World, Yuggotamia, Patio World, Scary World, Hairy World, Burger World, Dairy World, Cherry World, and World News Tonight."

Meanwhile, his message was transmitted everywhere with a TV, and became actual current events. Thirteen down, the rest of the universe to go.

Norm groaned.

"In addition," continued Anti-Cosmo. "I'm king of anywhere else with a TV."

Millions of worlds fell under his sway, including Earth.

Norm groaned. How could he save the world now?

Cal glanced at him.

"Well, thanks for saving me," she said to him.

Norm grinned.

"Mind if I do it again?"

"Sure."

Norm ANTI-POOFed up a wrecking ball, and hit Anti-Cosmo with it.

He ANTI-POOFed himself to the microphone, and said:

"Anti-Cosmo is king of nowhere, both me and Anti-Norm are fairies, the world is back to normal, and Calais wants to…"

Calais GONGed a gag over his mouth.

"I don't."

Norm ANTI-POOFed it off. What Norm had said began to take effect.

Anything said into the microphone at World News Tonight, while the camera was on, would become current events, and would happen. Norm had noticed that, and that was how he knew to talk into the microphone in order to save the world.

When Cal vanished, Norm frowned. Then he remembered the power of World News Tonight, and said:

"Calais will stay with me and be free of her lamp."

Calais was surprised to be back, but she appreciated it, even if she didn't want to admit it.

* * *

Norm, Calais, Chester and Anti-Norm appeared back at Chester's mobile home, which Norm magically cleaned.

Timmy and Tootie ended up back in Dimmsdale. Tootie decided to pretend to be human, so she could be with Timmy more. Timmy still remembered Tootie, since Jorgen didn't know that he had any memories of her as a fairy.

Jorgen reclaimed control of Fairy World, and the Pixies and Anti-Fairies were re-imprisoned in Abracatraz. The rulers of all the other worlds also regained control.

While Anti-Cosmo was going through the Worlds and taking them over, he accidentally triggered a dark entity.

But, that's another story…

* * *

**Author's Note: **This fanfic will also have a sequel. The sequel will probably take longer to write because of (insert boring September activity here.)


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